Remembrance
by The-Inedible-Croissant
Summary: When Eren is invited by Jean on what appears to be nothing more than a friendly walk in the woods, he ends up discovering a dark secret he would have been better off not knowing about.


"Would you just tell me where we're going already?" Eren asked, growing impatient as he followed Jean through the thick underbrush. He grumbled as he was smacked in the face by yet another tree branch.

"We're almost there." Jean answered.

Eren frowned. He was sure Jean was doing that on purpose by now. "That's what you said ten minutes ago!" _Stupid horse-face._

"I mean it this time."

"Yeah right. I bet that-" Eren was cut off as he walked through the foliage and straight into Jean.

"Watch where you're going!" Jean turned back and gestured to a small wooden house hidden within the trees. "Look, we're here." The house looked old and dilapidated, as if someone had created a building completely out of that shitty-ass flimsy backing they put on the back of cabinets because they are too cheap to use actual wood.

Eren looked up at him questioningly, but Jean just continued walking.

"Come on." Jean said. The hinges of the front door squealed loudly in protest as he pushed it open.

As Eren entered into the room after him, a horrid smell instantly invaded the sanctity of his nostrils. It was if he had just stuck his entire head into a septic tank and caused a ceaseless myriad of tiny skunk-apes to shove their fetid, filth-encrusted dongs into his poor nose. He thought it to be a miracle he hadn't already passed out from the revolting stench. He threw his arm over his nose in an attempt to find reprieve from the vile nose-rape. "What is that _smell_!?"

Jean walked over to a small carpet that lay in the center of the floor that looked just as foul as the room smelt. It was as though someone had fashioned an entire carpet out of a lost sandwich that had been chillin' under a cabinet for a couple of months while growing a fabulous green coat of fur. He peeled the moldering carpet away from the floor to reveal a massive hole. Kneeling down, the horse-man reached down into it.

Looking over his shoulder, Eren recoiled in horror as Jean retrieved the source of the revolting stench from the un-floored area of floor that looked like a hole in the floor.

Jean dropped a cloth-wrapped pile of bones and insect-covered mush in front of Eren. Upon hitting the floor, a few of the bugs that had been imprisoned upon it were knocked free and made for escape as even they were like _fuck that shit_.

Eren's gaze whipped to Jean. "What the fuck is that!?" But Jean only pulled a creepy smile.

Eren thought back to when they had been walking into trees in the woods and he suddenly remembered something that Jean had said, _"We're already half way there."_ The words stuck out in his mind. _Half way there. Half way. Half._

"Curses! I should have known!" Eren spat.

It was the remains of Marco. What was left of him had been converted into a chunky salad of only slightly molded human slime and a crunchy outer shell of arthropods.

At least that explained the smell.

Eren's esophagus immediately said _fuck it_ and quit, and at that moment he turned from a Jaeger into a Fulmar and sprayed forth a wall of projectile vomit in self-defense. He fell to his knees.

Meanwhile, Jean looked ecstatic as he gazed at the befouled pile of salad before him.

Eren looked up at him, his heart pounding. He didn't understand what the fuck was happening. For a moment, he thought he must have accidentally salted his meal that morning with the wrong white powder and put himself on a massive bad trip.

"I've already finished the preparations!" Jean replied to his silent question, "I will use your titan DNA to regenerate and transform him from a dead human back into a not-dead human! That's my favorite kind of human!"

"You're crazy! It'll never work!"

"Am I?" Jean replied, gesturing to the meaty blob.

The blood on the chunky pile of meat that used to be Marco began to gel up, absorbing the titan-flavored vomit as if it were a sponge in a truck-stop toilet. The gel scabbed around the flesh-pile as if it acted with purpose. It began to form into a shape, but one that was definitely not humanoid.

Jean's grin soon fell and his brows furrowed. His gaze jerked back to Eren, who was still on the floor. "What did you do!?"

Eren's fearful expression morphed into a smirk. "I had...chicken sandwiches for lunch!"

"No! You bastard!"

The ball of scab and Marcoflesh cracked at the seam, and the crust fell away to reveal a handsome rooster. Clucking softly, the bird looked from Jean to Eren and scratched at ground. It then immediately began pecking at the crumbling flakes of disgust at its feet, seemingly unaware that they were the remains of what had once been his humanoid prison. But then, not much could be expected from a lowly chicken.

"Oh well. A rooster is fine, too." Jean muttered to himself as he seized the rooster by the neck. He then proceeded to jam the entire Marcochicken into his forsaken man-hole in one fell swoop. It was a horrifying display, like a mass of pubes making their way into a shower drain that would from that point on, always leave a tiny pool of water at the bottom of the tub like the piece of shit it was. White feathers scattered across the room.

"Jean! What the actual fuck!?" Eren yelled, his eyes going wide.

"It's like I told you; I've always wanted Marco cock in my ass." Jean's lips pulled into a shit-eating grin. He twisted around and intently stared up into the corner of the room, seemingly at nothing.

"W-what are you doing?" Eren asked, warily stepping back.

"I'm staring at the audience."

Eren stared up at the corner blankly, as if expecting something would happen right there and then. Still in a daze, he turned back to Jean. "Y-you just shoved a live chicken up your ass!"

"No Eren, I am the chicken. It was me all along." Jean said as he tore off his pants in one swift motion.

Eren's eyes widened in horror.

The long, white, feathery head of a rooster sprouted out from where his genitals should have been, the head forming the shaft and its caruncled throat the scrotum. Its small beady eyes focused on the boy before it, it made a low sound in its throat then began squawking loudly.

A shrill screech of sheer terror erupted from Eren's throat as he gazed upon the wretched, chicken-dicked, man-horse abomination that stood before him.

Jean's mouth curved into a twisted smile. "What is it Eren?" he asked.

Shoving his hand to his mouth with such force he nearly knocked out a tooth, Eren bit down on his thumb hard, tearing off the flesh. Steam erupted forth as his form grew in size, obliterating the wooden house.

His eyes focused on the tiny, grinning sin-against-nature, Eren yelled as he plummeted his massive fist towards it. He smashed the hideous thing with a satisfying crunch, smearing a Jean-flavored paste of flesh and bone across the floor.

As he stood there staring down at the smeared mess, he was overtaken by a feeling of intense serenity. It was over. No longer did such a Stygian horror poison the world with its unholy presence. He had won.

A faint, Levi-shaped aura faded in beside him like something from a shitty PowerPoint presentation. A heavenly glowing mop appearing in its grasp, it walked over to the Jeanut butter that sullied the once rich mahogany and began wiping it up.

Eren could only stare on in awe. Even from beyond the grave did Heichou clean up his messes. A single tear rolled down his titanic cheek. "So... So beautiful..."


End file.
